The Enemy and Root Beer - Stepfamily Life Can Be Better With Less Work, Not More

The best is the enemy of the good. Voltaire

My husband reminds me of this when he thinks I am trying to make something better than it needs to be. Like this article. Every time I write, I want you take away some new insight, or support. But sometimes I'm just trying to make it through and I don't have much wisdom to give you.

But maybe, it is enough just to know that you are not alone. That your struggles are shared by others. That you can make changes and find better ways. Who wants somebody who has all the answers all the time anyway????

I've seen this work in other areas of my life where I struggle "too" hard to be the best.

I learned this lesson with my stepson. Adolescence came fast in our family with 4 now between the ages of 12 and 15. My stepson loves spending time with his Dad. There is not much he needs from me. I would try to "mother" him, or buy things for him or impart my wisdom to him on matters. At 14 years old, he didn't really need or appreciate my effort, and I would secretly feel frustrated.

He reminded me one day that we didn't have any A&W Root Beer Crme Soda, and he sure would like some. So I went out and bought him a 6 pack. The next time he came, he asked for it again. After that, I started buying it for him regularly.

Whenever he comes to us after a transition from his Mom and he comes in the door, I tell him that his root beer is in the cabinet. He smiles and acts so happy. Just think: After all the time I spent trying to be a great stepmom, buying root beer is what gets me points. Who would have thought?

Last year, my husband was struggling in his relationship with my stepdaughter. He asked me for suggestions. So you know what I told him, "I know she likes mint chocolate chip ice cream". Start with that."

Sometimes you don't need "great", you just need root beer.

I hope this helps you on your journey.

Jayna Haney, Founder The Bridge Across for Stepfamilies and Single Parent Families

Would you like our FREE family success kit? Learn more about Jayna and The Bridge Across for Stepfamilies and Single Parents at http://www.thebridgeacross.com

Jayna Haney works with single parents and stepfamilies to create satisfying lives and healthy families with programs, strategies and tools designed especially for them.

Jayna specializes in developing strategies to neutralize the complications in stepfamilies and single parents, so that they feel centered and enjoy life even in the midst of the ups and downs of their family situations.

Jayna is passionate about her work - having been both a single parent with two children, and now, part of a stepfamily. Speaker, writer, educator and coach, Jayna and her husband of 7 years, Mike, live in Houston and have a lot of fun with their four kids, ages 12 to 15.